Unit 8   

    Unwritten Rules. What is rule? Is this world  dominated by rules? What do you think of rule? e.g., how do you behave when you're alone? Late at night when no one else is around, do you burst into spontaneous song and dance? roll around on the grass? make faces at the Moon? If you're like most of us, you probably don't do any of these things (very often!) -- in fact you probably don't even talk to yourself (much!). The unwritten rules and regulations of decent behavior -- which some people call “the social contract” -- are an amazingly strong force in our lives. The texts you're going to read in this unit examine the nature of these rules, speculate about why we obey them so automatically, and venture on a brief exploration of the strange territory outside “the social contract”.

Text A

    Suddenly, from a table near the center of the room, came a screaming voice: “Damn it, Sylvia....”

  The man was shouting at the top of his voice. His face was red, and he yelled at the woman sitting opposite him for about fifteen seconds. In the crowded restaurant, it seemed like an hour. All other conversations in the room stopped, and everyone looked at the man. He must have realized this, because just as suddenly as he had started, he lowered his voice and finished whatever it was he had to say in a tone the rest of us could not hear.

   It was startling precisely because it almost never happens; there are no laws against such explosions, and with the pressures of our modern world you would almost expect to run into such things on a regular basis. But you don't; as a matter of fact, when I thought it over I realized that it was the first time in my life I had witnessed such a demonstration. During all the meals I've had in restaurants, I had never seen a person start screaming at the top of his lungs.

   When you're eating among other people, you don't raise your voice; it's just one example of the unwritten rules we live by. When you consider it, you recognize that those rules probably govern our lives on a more absolute basis than the ones you could find if you looked in the law books. The customs that govern us are what make a civilization. There would be chaos without them, and yet it's not at all clear why -- even in our disintegrating society -- we obey them.

   How many times have you stopped at a red light late at night? You can see in all directions; there's no one else around -- no headlights, no police cruiser idling behind you. You're tired and in a hurry. But you wait for the light to change. Is it for safety's sake? No; you can see that there would be no accident if you drove on. Is it to avoid getting arrested? No; you are alone; there's no one to catch you. Still, you sit and wait.

   At major athletic events, it is not uncommon to find 90,000 or 100,000 people sitting in the stands. On the playing field are two dozen athletes -- maybe fewer. There aren't enough security guards on hand to keep all the spectators from getting out of their seats and walking onto the field. But it never happens. Regardless of the emotion of the contest, the spectators stay in their places, and the athletes are safe in their part of the arena. The invisible barrier always holds.

   In restaurants and coffee shops, people pay their bills. It's a simple enough concept. Yet it would be remarkably easy to wander away from a meal without paying at the end. Especially in these difficult economic times, wouldn't you expect this to become a common form of cheating? Why doesn't it happen more often? It's just another unwritten rule of human conduct that people automatically make good on their debts. They would no sooner walk out on a bill than start screaming.

   I know a man who, when he parks his car at a parking meter, always puts change in the meter even if there's time left on it. He regards it as the right thing to do. He says he isn't doing it just to extend the time remaining -- even if there's sufficient time on the meter to cover whatever task he has to perform at the location, he pays his own way. He believes that you're supposed to purchase your own time; the fellow before you purchased only his.

   There are so many rules like these -- rules that we all obey -- that we think about them only when that rare person violates them. In the restaurant, after the man had yelled “Damn it, Sylvia” there was a tentative atmosphere among the other diners for half an hour after it happened. They weren't sure what disturbed them about what they had witnessed; they knew, though, that it had violated something very basic about the way we're supposed to behave. And it bothered them -- which in itself is a hopeful sign that, more often than not, all is well.

      餐馆里几乎坐满了人。屋里一片低沉的嗡嗡谈话声。人们一边忙着用餐一边在相互交谈着。

      突然，靠近餐馆中央的一张餐桌上传来了一声尖叫：“真该死，西尔维亚......”

   那个男子人正在高声喊叫。他脸涨得通红，朝着坐在他对面的妇女喊叫了大约十五秒钟。在这家拥挤的餐馆中，这十五秒钟好像有一个小时之久。屋里所有别的谈话都停止了，人人都看着那个男子。他一定意识到了这一点，因为就像他突然开始高声喊叫一样，他突然又压低了嗓门，用我们其余人都听不见的声音结束了他想说的什么话。

   正是因为这种事几乎从未发生过，因此才令人吃惊。没有什么法律禁止这种感情的发作，而且由于我们现代社会的种种压力，你几乎可以预料到会经常碰到这样的事，然而你并没有经常碰到。实际上，当我回想这件事时，我发现这是我有生以来第一次亲眼见到这种情绪的表露。我以前在餐馆用餐时还从未看到过有人这样声嘶力竭地喊叫。

   当你在和其他人一起用餐时，你不会提高嗓门；这只是我们遵循的许多不成文规定的一个例子。如果你考虑一下，你就会看到，比起在法律书上要找就可以找到的那些法规来，这些不成文的规定对我们生活的支配很可能更绝对。那些支配我们的习俗构成了一个文明社会。没有这些习俗就会出现混乱，然而，为什么---甚至在我们这个正在解体的社会中---我们还遵守这些习俗，却根本不清楚。

   有多少次你深夜在红灯前停下车来? 各个方向你都看得清，周围没有别人---没有汽车前灯，没有警察巡逻车慢悠悠地尾随着你。你很疲惫，而且急着赶路。但你还是等着红灯转绿。这样做是为了安全吗? 不是，你明知即使你开过去，也不会发生事故。是为了不遭到拘捕吗? 不是，当时只有你一个人；没有人来抓你。但是，你还是坐在车里等着。

   在一些重大的体育赛事中，常常有90,000乃至100,000人坐在看台上。运动场上只有二十多名运动员---或许更少。现场没有足够的保安人员来阻止所有的观众离开座位走进运动场。但这样的事情从未发生过。不管比赛多么激动人心，观众都坐在座位上，运动员们在他们的场地上很安全。这道无形的屏障一直是有效的。

   在餐馆和咖啡店里，人们都会付帐。这是再简单不过的概念。然而吃完饭不付帐便走开也是非常容易的。特别是在现在经济困难时期，难道你不认为这会成为一种常见的欺骗方式吗? 但为什么这种事并不常有呢? 因为主动还钱只不过是人类行为又一条不成文的规定。人们不会高声尖叫，也不会不付帐就走出餐厅。

   我认识一个人，他在停车计时器前泊车时，即使前面那个人没有用完停车时间，他也总往计时器里投币。他认为这样做是理所当然的。他说他这样做并非仅仅是为了延长剩余的停车时间---尽管计时器上还剩下足够的时间让他在那里办完要办的事情，他付的是他自己的费用。他认为自己的停车时间理应由自己付钱，前面那个人付的只是他的停车费。

   我们一致遵守的这类规定数不胜数，因此只有当极个别的人违反了它们时我们才会想起它们。在餐馆里，当那个男子发出“真该死，西尔维亚......”的一声尖叫后，有半个小时，其他就餐者中弥漫着一种迟疑不决的气氛。他们不能确定在看到刚才那一幕后，是什么东西使他们感到不安；但是他们知道，这样的行为违背了人们行为规范中某些非常基本的东西。 这些使他们感到不安---而这种不安本身就是个好兆头，表明情况大抵还不错。

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