by Louis E. Kopolow, M.D.
You need stress in your life! Does that surprise you? Perhaps so, but it is quite true. Without stress, life would be dull and unexciting. Stress adds flavor, challenge, and opportunity to life. Too much stress, however, can seriously affect your physical and mental well-being. A major challenge in the stress-filled world of today is to learn how to cope with stress so that it doesn't become overwhelming.
What kinds of things can cause too much stress in our lives? We often think of major crises such as natural disasters, war, and death as main sources of stress. These are, of course, stressful events. However, according to psychologist Wayne Weiten, on a day-to-day basis, it's the small things that cause stress: waiting in line, having car trouble, getting stuck in a traffic jam, having too many things to do in a limited time.Interestingly, stress is unique and personal to each of us. So personal, in fact, that what may be relaxing to one person may be stressful to another. For example, if you're an executive who likes to keep busy all the time, "taking it easy" at the beach on a beautiful day may feel extremely frustrating, non-productive, and upsetting. You may be emotionally distressed from "doing nothing".
Hans Selye, M.D., a recognized expert in the field, has defined stress as a "non-specific response of the body to a demand ." For the busy executive, the demand that causes stress might be to relax. For most of us, it's a demand to act that causes stress. If we feel overwhelmed by pressure to do too much, we may not be able to function at all.In this case, the stress that can be good for us becomes distress, or bad stress. When stress becomes prolonged or particularly frustrating, it can become harmful, causing physical illness.
Reacting To StressThe body responds to stressful events by going through three stages: alarm, resistance and exhaustion. Let's take the example of a typical commuter in rush-hour traffic. If a car suddenly pulls out in front of him, his initial alarm reaction may include fear of an accident, anger at the driver who committed the action, and general frustration. His body may respond in the alarm stage by releasing chemicals into the bloodstream which cause his face to flush, perspiration to form, his stomach to have a sinking feeling, and his arms and legs to tighten. The next stage is resistance, in which the body repairs damage caused by the stress. If the stress of driving continues with repeated close calls or traffic jams, however, his body
doesn't have time to make repairs. He may become so conditioned to expect potential problems when he drives that he tightens up at the beginning of each commuting day. The third stage, exhaustion, occurs if the stress continues over a long period of time, and the body depletes its resources for fighting stress. The result may be illness: insomnia, headaches, backaches, ulcers, high blood pressure -- even heart disease.
While you can't live completely free of stress and distress, you can prevent some distress as well as minimize its impact. By recognizing the early signs of distress and then doing something about hem, you can improve the quality of your life and perhaps even live longer.
Helping Yourself
When stress does occur, it's important to recognize and deal with it. Here are some suggestions for handling stress. As you begin to understand more about how stress affects you as an individual, you'll come up with your own ways to ease the tension.
Try physical activity. When you're nervous, angry or upset, release the pressure through exercise or physical activity. Running, walking, playing tennis or working in your garden are just some of the activities you might try. Physical exercise will relieve the tension, relax you and turn the frowns into smiles. Remember, your body and your mind work together.
Share your stress. It helps to talk to someone about your concerns and worries. Perhaps a friend, family member, teacher or counselor can help you see your problem in a different light. If you feel your problem is serious, you might seek professional help from a
psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker or mental health counselor. Knowing when to ask for help may help you avoid more serious problems later.
Know your limits. If a problem is beyond your control and can't be changed at the moment, don't fight the situation. Learn to accept what is -- for now -- until a time when you can change it.Take care of yourself. You're special. Get enough rest and eat well. If you're irritable and tense from lack of sleep or if you aren't eating correctly, you'll have less ability to deal with stressful situations. If stress repeatedly keeps you from sleeping, you should ask your doctor for help.
Make time for fun. Schedule time for both work and recreation. Play can be just as important to your well-being as work; you need a break from your daily routine to just relax and have fun.
Be a participant. One way to keep from getting bored, sad, and lonely is to go somewhere where things are happening. Sitting alone can make you feel frustrated. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, get involved and become a participant. Offer your services in volunteer
organizations. Help yourself by helping other people. Get involved in the world and the people around you, and you'll find they'll be attracted to you.You'll be on your way to making new friends and enjoying new activities.
Check off your tasks. Trying to take care of everything at once can seem overwhelming, and, as a result, you may not accomplish anything. Instead, make a list of what tasks you have to do, then do one at a time, check them off as they're completed. Give priority to the most
important ones and do those first.
Must you always be right? Do other people upset you -- particularly when they don't do things your way? Try cooperation instead of confrontation; it's better than fighting and always being "right." A little give and take on both sides will reduce the strain and make you
both feel more comfortable.
It's OK to cry. A good cry can be a healthy way to bring relief to your anxiety, and it might even prevent a headache or other physical consequence. Take some deep breaths; they also release tension.
Create a quiet scene. You can't always run away, but you can "dream the impossible dream." A quiet country scene painted mentally (or on canvas!) can let you escape from a stressful situation. Change the scene by reading a good book or playing beautiful music to create a sense of peace.
Avoid self-medication. Although you can use prescription or over-the-counter medications to relieve stress temporarily, they don't eliminate the conditions that caused the stress in the first place. Medications, in fact, may be habit-forming and can also reduce your efficiency, thus creating more stress than they take away.(34) They should be taken only on the advice of your doctor.
The Art of Relaxation
The best strategy for avoiding stress is to learn how to relax. Unfortunately many people try to relax at the same pace that they lead the rest of their lives.(35) For a while, tune out your worries about time, productivity, and "doing right". You'll find satisfaction in just being, without striving.(36) Find activities that give you pleasure and that are good for your mental and physical well-being. Forget about always winning. Focus on relaxation, enjoyment, and health. Whatever method works for you, be good to yourself. If you don't let stress get out of hand,(37) you can actually make it work for you instead of against you.
坦言应对压力
路易斯·E·科玻洛医学博士
你在生活中需要压力！这话让你吃惊吗？也许如此，但它却千真万确。没有压力，生活就会单调沉闷。压力给生活增添情趣、挑战和机会。然而，过多的压力也会严重影响你的身心健康。在当今这个充满压力的世界里，一大挑战就是学会如何妥善处理压力，而不被压垮。
在我们的生活中哪类事情会导致过多的压力呢？我们经常会把自然灾害、战争和死亡这类重大的危急事件视为压力的主要来源。这些当然是压力很大的事件。然而，据心理学家韦恩·魏滕称，在日常生活中，造成压力的都是些小事情：排队等候啦，车子故障啦，交通堵塞啦，时间少而事情多啦。
有意思的是，压力对我们每个人来说都是因人而异的。事实上，压力是如此因人而异 ，对某人来说可能很轻松的事对另一个人来说也许就是压力。譬如，你倘若是个喜欢整天忙忙碌碌的主管，那么在晴朗宜人的日子里到海滩上“放松一下”也许会让你感到极为沮丧，毫无收获，心烦意乱。你也许会因为“无所事事”而苦恼。
这一领域一位公认的专家汉斯·泽利厄医学博士把紧张定义为“身体对于某种需要的非特定反应。”对于那个忙碌的主管来说，导致压力的需要或许是放松。对我们大多数人来说，导致压力的需要是行动。如果我们因为要做的事情太多而感到不堪重负，我们也许根本就无法工作。在这种情况下，原本可能对我们有好处的压力成了苦恼，或者成了不利的压力。当压力持续时间很长或者特别令人沮丧时，它可能会带来危害，引起身体疾病。
对压力作出反应
人体对造成压力的事件作出反应经历三个阶段：(1)惊恐，(2)抵抗，(3)精疲力竭。以一个在交通高峰时间驾车赶路上下班的典型通勤者为例。如果一辆汽车突然超车插到他前面，他最初的惊恐反应可能包括对发生事故的恐惧，对当事司机的愤怒，以及一般的沮丧。在惊恐阶段，他的身体反应可能是向血液中释放一些化学物质，使他脸色变红，身上出汗，胃部不适 ，四肢僵硬。第二个阶段是抵抗，这时候身体修复由紧张造成的损害。然而，如果随着险情或交通堵塞的重复出现，开车的压力持续不断的话，他的身体便没有时间去进行修复。他可能会变得老是去提防开车时的潜在问题，以至于每天一开始赶路，神经就会绷紧。如果这种压力持续很长一段时间，那么第三个阶段的精疲力竭就会出现，身体就会耗尽抵御压力的一切力量 。结果可能就会出现疾病：失眠，头痛，背痛，溃疡，高血压----甚至心脏病。
虽然你不可能完全摆脱压力无忧无虑地生活，但你却能防止某些苦恼，将其影响减少到最低限度。通过识别忧虑的早期迹象，然后对其采取一些措施，你就能够提高你的生活质量，也许还会延长寿命。
自助
当压力确实出现时，重要的是要意识到它并对付它。这里是一些对付压力的建议。当你开始更多地了解到压力是如何影响你个人时，你就会想出你自己的方式来缓解这种紧张。
试一试体育活动。当你紧张、愤怒或心烦时，可以通过运动或者体力活动来解除压力。跑步、步行、打网球或在花园里干活只是你可以尝试的种 种 活动中的几种。体育活动将缓解紧张，让你放松，将愁眉变为微笑。记住，你的身体和脑子是一起工作的。
与人分担你的压力。把你的担心和烦恼告诉别人是很有用的。也许一位朋友、家人、老师或辅导员能够帮助你从不同的角度去看你的问题。如果你觉得你的问题很严重，你可以寻求心理学家、精神科医生、社会服务人员或精神健康顾问的专业帮助。知道在什么时候求助也许能帮助你避免以后产生更严重的问题。
了解自己的能力所及。如果一个问题非你所能控制，眼下又无法改变，那就不要勉为其难。要学会接受目前的现实，直到有一天你能改变现状 。照顾好自己。你是与众不同的。你要获得充分的休息，要吃好。如果你因为睡眠不足而心情烦躁，神经紧张，或者如果你饮食不当，你将更无法应付压力很大的情况 。如果紧张的情绪让你频频失眠，你应该请求医生的帮助。
腾出娱乐的时间。工作和娱乐的时间都要安排。娱乐和工作一样，对你的生活快乐非常重要；你有必要停下日常工作去放松放松、尽情玩乐 。
做一名参与者。防止变得无聊、悲哀和孤独的方法之一是前往正在发生什么事情的地方。独自坐着会使你感到沮丧。不要自怨自艾，要投身于其中，成为一个参与者。在志愿者组织中奉献你的服务。通过帮助别人来帮助自己。融入这个世界和你周围的人们，你就会发现他们会被你吸引。你将开始结识新的朋友，愉快地参与各种新的活动。
事情做完一件划掉一件。试图同时处理所有的事情会让你受不了，结果，你也许会一事无成。相反，把你必须做的事情列一份清单，然后一次做一件，完成后便划掉。最重要的事情优先处理，首先完成。
你一定时是永远正确的吗？别人会让你心烦吗----尤其是当他们没有按你的方式行事时？试一试合作而不是对抗；这比斗争和永远“正确”要好。双方有一点互谅互让将会缓和紧张，并让双方的心情都更加舒畅。
哭一场也无妨。痛哭一场有时侯是消除忧虑的一种健康方式，痛哭甚至也许能预防头痛或其它身体上的不适。做几次深呼吸；这样也能缓解紧张。
创造一个安静的环境。你无法老是逃避 ，但你可以 “做不可能实现的梦”。在你的脑子里(或在画布上!)描绘一幅恬静的乡村景色，这样你就能够逃避压力沉重的局面。通过读一本好书或者演奏优美的乐曲来获得一种宁静的感觉，来改变环境。
避免自己用药。虽然你可以用处方药或者非处方药来暂时缓解压力，但药物不能从根本上消除导致压力的状况。事实上，用药可能会让你形成习惯，也可能降低你的效率，从而造成的压力比消除的压力还要多。药物只能在医生的建议下服用。
放松的艺术避免压力的最佳策略是学会如何放松。遗憾的是许多人试图以他们在生活中其它方面同样的节奏来放松。要暂时忘记你对时间、工作效率和“做得对”的忧虑。顺其自然 ，不要拼命争取，你就会从中获得满足。寻找能带给你欢乐、对你的身心健康都有好处的活动。不要念念不忘“总是要赢”。要专注于放松、欢乐和健康。无论哪种方式对你有效，都要善待自己。如果你不让压力失控，你实际上就能让它为你服务而不是跟你作对了。